Where have I been you ask? Well I guess you could say I was in hiding. Hiding from my shame. I could re-hash all the ways in which I wronged my body, but instead I choose to look forward. I will not dwell on the donut, pizza and cake I consumed in one day, nor will I think about the twice eaten butter drenched baked brie from last week. I've already forgotten about the two trips to MacDonald's and the night I treated myself to chicken fingers and fries is but a distant memory.
OMG GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE???
Somebody please stop me! Summer is now officially here and I have done nothing to rid the extra 10 lbs I gained over the year. I made a couple laughable attempts to go to the gym, but found that staying at home and watching the first season of True Blood was far more entertaining. I had a three day streak of eating well, and then succumbed to the temptation of pretty much everything my heart desired.
Hopefully the pending nuptials of my best friend will help crack the whip. Knowing I will be walking down the isle as a bridesmaid should be the kick in the ass I need to start taking this weight loss seriously again....I hope.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Craving the Forbidden Fruit
It's been a month since I last ate McDonald's. You may remember the incident when the drive-thru girl hit on me by adding another patty to my Quarter Pounder. Okay, I'm sure it was an innocent coincidence, but it was a little suspicious.
So my friend Justyna from sentinforrepair decided to document the not-so-healthy meals that she's been treating herself to in an attempt to not hide from the "grossness she's been putting into her body"(or something like that). I think it's a brilliant idea from a very creative mind. Unfortunately, all it's done for me is make me crave a Cheeseburger Happymeal. For days!
I'm a very hungry girl right now. I went through some pictures recently, which ranged from just before my wedding in September, to December. This catapulted my desire to get thin, so I've really been trying to crack down over the last couple of days. I've had some minor slip-ups here and there (like last night, after 3 tacos somehow didn't satisfy me, I ended up eating the left over cheese out of the bowl with a spoon) but for the most part I've been doing pretty well. It actually seems ridiculous considering it's only been three days, but weight loss is a minute by minute, hour by hour struggle.
As I've said before, the battle is only within. I can do this, but I have to fight with myself all day long. If I applied the same negotiation tactics I use on myself, to my job every day, I'd be incredibly successful.
Today I'm only consuming enough points for the day that will allow me to give into my craving for a Cheeseburger Happymeal tonight. The sad truth is that I will still be hungry after.
So my friend Justyna from sentinforrepair decided to document the not-so-healthy meals that she's been treating herself to in an attempt to not hide from the "grossness she's been putting into her body"(or something like that). I think it's a brilliant idea from a very creative mind. Unfortunately, all it's done for me is make me crave a Cheeseburger Happymeal. For days!
I'm a very hungry girl right now. I went through some pictures recently, which ranged from just before my wedding in September, to December. This catapulted my desire to get thin, so I've really been trying to crack down over the last couple of days. I've had some minor slip-ups here and there (like last night, after 3 tacos somehow didn't satisfy me, I ended up eating the left over cheese out of the bowl with a spoon) but for the most part I've been doing pretty well. It actually seems ridiculous considering it's only been three days, but weight loss is a minute by minute, hour by hour struggle.
As I've said before, the battle is only within. I can do this, but I have to fight with myself all day long. If I applied the same negotiation tactics I use on myself, to my job every day, I'd be incredibly successful.
Today I'm only consuming enough points for the day that will allow me to give into my craving for a Cheeseburger Happymeal tonight. The sad truth is that I will still be hungry after.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Another Weakend (Get it?)
Number of days since my last treat from Tim Hortons: 7 (at least)
Number of days since my last pound of chicken wings: 2
Number of days since my last pound of chicken wings before that: 1
2 pounds of chicken wings in 2 days! And I haven't even admitted to the fries that accompanied the wings! Or the booze! This is why I'm overweight!
Why? I can ask myself this simple question over and over. I can beat myself up about it over and over, but I'm still incapable of finding my willpower OVER AND OVER! I'm so good during the week. I limit my calories throughout the day, I take note of the number of Weight Watchers points I'm accumulating, I eat properly, there have even been a few nights that I've gone to bed hungry. It all becomes a wasted attempt once the weekend hits.
The problem is that I like to go out with friends and I like to be able to eat what they eat, because otherwise, I'll sit there salivating over their meals throughout dinner and, let's be honest, it kind of makes for an uncomfortable evening. Little side note: A couple of years ago I had gone to a mall food court on my lunch break with a friend from work. You know when you have too many options to choose from you almost always make the wrong choice and end up regretting it throughout your whole meal? Well this was the case for me that day. I had a boring sub, and she had some yummy, greasy Chinese food. I literally could not take my eyes off her plate the whole time we were there. I guess my mouth was watering excessively, so when I opened it to tell her her how great her lunch looked, I spit right.in.her.food! I apologized emphatically, and she laughed and said, "If you really wanted some you could have just asked!". I was mortified! Although, if you know me, you're aware of my issues with bodily fluids, and you'll also know that this ranks low on the list of mortifying moments involving said bodily fluids.
Sorry, I digress (I've always wanted to say that!).
So these are the situations I try to avoid when out for a bite to eat with friends. It's a lame excuse, I know. Willpower is all about overcoming the urge. I'm working on it, but in the meantime my only other option is to become a hermit or just steer clear of any outings that involve food. This makes me sad. Hand me a cookie.
Number of days since my last pound of chicken wings: 2
Number of days since my last pound of chicken wings before that: 1
2 pounds of chicken wings in 2 days! And I haven't even admitted to the fries that accompanied the wings! Or the booze! This is why I'm overweight!
Why? I can ask myself this simple question over and over. I can beat myself up about it over and over, but I'm still incapable of finding my willpower OVER AND OVER! I'm so good during the week. I limit my calories throughout the day, I take note of the number of Weight Watchers points I'm accumulating, I eat properly, there have even been a few nights that I've gone to bed hungry. It all becomes a wasted attempt once the weekend hits.
The problem is that I like to go out with friends and I like to be able to eat what they eat, because otherwise, I'll sit there salivating over their meals throughout dinner and, let's be honest, it kind of makes for an uncomfortable evening. Little side note: A couple of years ago I had gone to a mall food court on my lunch break with a friend from work. You know when you have too many options to choose from you almost always make the wrong choice and end up regretting it throughout your whole meal? Well this was the case for me that day. I had a boring sub, and she had some yummy, greasy Chinese food. I literally could not take my eyes off her plate the whole time we were there. I guess my mouth was watering excessively, so when I opened it to tell her her how great her lunch looked, I spit right.in.her.food! I apologized emphatically, and she laughed and said, "If you really wanted some you could have just asked!". I was mortified! Although, if you know me, you're aware of my issues with bodily fluids, and you'll also know that this ranks low on the list of mortifying moments involving said bodily fluids.
Sorry, I digress (I've always wanted to say that!).
So these are the situations I try to avoid when out for a bite to eat with friends. It's a lame excuse, I know. Willpower is all about overcoming the urge. I'm working on it, but in the meantime my only other option is to become a hermit or just steer clear of any outings that involve food. This makes me sad. Hand me a cookie.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
The Devil Made Me Do It
What does it say about me that whenever I see the little icon above I think it's a cupcake or an ice cream cone. This is not a joke, I see that icon every time I log in to create a new blog entry - it's a cellular phone, btw, but I'm sure that's evident to everyone but me - and my first instinct is aways, mmmm...cupcake! This is why I'm overweight!
There's a Tim Horton's in my office building that I visit at least once a day for my morning tea. Most days I can hold off on the delicious muffins, donuts, or bagels, but sometimes, when the thought of one more Nutrigrain Bar turns my stomach, I can convince myself that a treat from Timmy's won't be the end of the world.
After my wedding, I may have gone a little overboard on the whole grain raspberry muffins that I had deprived myself of for so many months. Something about the words "whole grain" automatically translates to "OK to eat" in my mind. So today I requested a nutritional guide from Tim Hortons in hopes that if I keep it at my desk, every time I craved an afternoon donut or cookie, I would just look at the guide and remind myself that it's not worth the calories. Well, I discovered that a donut or cookie is the least of my concerns. That "OK to eat" whole grain raspberry muffin that I've allowed myself to eat approximately once a week since September 28th, 2008 is 400 calories and 17 GRAMS OF FAT! Umm, that's a quarter pounder from McDonald's!
Now, let's get something straight, I in no way thought that a muffin was a healthy choice. I've admitted many times that I caved for a muffin and was aware of how bad that was. I've declared that muffins equal muffin tops, but I never realized I was eating a quarter pounder for breakfast. I feel naive and a little humiliated...also, a little sick to my stomach.
On the bright side, I am now spreading the word (to the four people who read this blog) that muffins are very bad, but whole grain raspberry - or blueberry - muffins from Tim Hortons are baked in Satan's oven.
P.S. I won't judge you if you eat them...they're SO GOOD!
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